Hey there,

Thanks for reading my last review, all 3 spammers of you. If there are more of you, please leave me a comment!

Today, I want to talk about CROSSBONES. This new show stars the amazing John Malkovich as the Legendary Blackbeard the Pirate. The Show Aired on May 30, 2014 (sorry I’m a little late) on NBC.

This would be a good time to remind you that I only watch the first 2 episodes before I write about it.

The show centers on a ships “Physician” Thomas Lowe (played by Richard Coyle), who is tasked with finding and killing the long thought dead Blackbeard the pirate.

I’d like to say first that I’m thrilled with the idea of an awesome Pirate Show. Swashbucklers and Thieves who sail the seas looking for people to rob and kill is pretty great, especially when you throw in great stunts, special effects, and the occasional drunken gathering where pirates may or may not sing.

However, I don’t think that CROSSBONES has particularly good special effects. People are pretty savvy to special effects these days, so if you want to trick me, you have to try a little harder than this. If you told me that all of the scenes on the boat were shot on a soundstage in LA against a green screen, I would say “Thats exactly what it looks like!”.

Malkovich, who shows us moments of his awesomeness, also shows us moments of trying to figure out who he is actually playing. His accent goes from English, to European, to Malkovich many times over the course of the first two episodes. And although I love the idea of an aging ruthless pirate who has retired to an island and created a kinda “Lost” pirate civilization, I wish they would own that more. Instead, like most NBC shows, there has to be some big secret that you must continue watching to find out. In this case, Malkovich refuses to discuss his long career as Blackbeard and refuses to let anyone call him that. Instead, he is referred to as the “Commodore”, which in itself, makes me think he himself is a different character. But maybe that great story point is lost on me.

Suddenly I’m more interested in checking out BLACK SAILS on STARZ, maybe they can figure out what swashbuckling is. In terms of CROSSBONES, I’ll let NBC try to figure out how to use a great talent like John Malkovich.