Hey there,

Thanks for reading my last review, all 3 spammers of you. If there are more of you, please leave me a comment!

Today, I want to talk about CROSSBONES. This new show stars the amazing John Malkovich as the Legendary Blackbeard the Pirate. The Show Aired on May 30, 2014 (sorry I’m a little late) on NBC.

This would be a good time to remind you that I only watch the first 2 episodes before I write about it.

The show centers on a ships “Physician” Thomas Lowe (played by Richard Coyle), who is tasked with finding and killing the long thought dead Blackbeard the pirate.

I’d like to say first that I’m thrilled with the idea of an awesome Pirate Show. Swashbucklers and Thieves who sail the seas looking for people to rob and kill is pretty great, especially when you throw in great stunts, special effects, and the occasional drunken gathering where pirates may or may not sing.

However, I don’t think that CROSSBONES has particularly good special effects. People are pretty savvy to special effects these days, so if you want to trick me, you have to try a little harder than this. If you told me that all of the scenes on the boat were shot on a soundstage in LA against a green screen, I would say “Thats exactly what it looks like!”.

Malkovich, who shows us moments of his awesomeness, also shows us moments of trying to figure out who he is actually playing. His accent goes from English, to European, to Malkovich many times over the course of the first two episodes. And although I love the idea of an aging ruthless pirate who has retired to an island and created a kinda “Lost” pirate civilization, I wish they would own that more. Instead, like most NBC shows, there has to be some big secret that you must continue watching to find out. In this case, Malkovich refuses to discuss his long career as Blackbeard and refuses to let anyone call him that. Instead, he is referred to as the “Commodore”, which in itself, makes me think he himself is a different character. But maybe that great story point is lost on me.

Suddenly I’m more interested in checking out BLACK SAILS on STARZ, maybe they can figure out what swashbuckling is. In terms of CROSSBONES, I’ll let NBC try to figure out how to use a great talent like John Malkovich.

I wanted to choose carefully what my first review on this site would be.  I took some time to watch shows.  I saw the first two episodes of MURDER IN THE FIRST on TNT, I have the pilot to FROM DUCK TILL DAWN: THE SERIES, but haven’t been able to bring myself to watch it yet.

Then I randomly saw an advertisement on NBC for TAXI BROOKLYN.  Upon doing a little research, I learned that this show is made right here in New York City (rather than canada, or prague, or that one street in LA with a fire escape), so I figured that this. is. the. one.

TAXI BROOKLYN aired on June 25, 2014.  It has the Wednesday night at 10pm time slot, and airs against MOTIVE, DUCK DYNASTY, AND THE BRIDGE.

The show starts meeting Detective Caitlyn Sullivan (played by Chyler Leigh) waiting to meet a secretive man with a bad fake beard and a baseball cap.  But before you can urinate on yourself laughing at such a bad beard, Det. Sullivan takes off in pursuit of a “Bank Robber”  who is in the process getting away in an everyday NYC Yellow Taxi.  Sullivan drives like a bat out of hell (I know that because her partner Det. Eddie Esposito (played by Jose Zuniga) talks about how bad her driving is, oh and because she hits a row of garbage cans).

But alas, Sullivan pins the taxi next to a garbage truck, and the suspect gets away.  Here is where we meet Leo Romba (played by Jacky Ido), who is the taxi driver claiming that he had nothing to do with the robbery.  Leo and Sullivan strike a deal that Leo will drive Sullivan around, in exchange Sullivan will prove Leo’s innocence.  There is a fair amount of this show that is “DRIVING DET. SULLIVAN”

The story essentially becomes about 2 things:  The friendship/relationship between Det. Sullivan and Leo Romba, and Det. Sullivan’s non-sanctioned investigation into her father’s mysterious murder.  I imagine that weekly we are looking at the “Case of the Week”, peppered in with nuggets of information about Sullivan’s father’s murder, and Leo’s mysterious past.

What gets funny about this show, is the fact that a european company is producing an American Crime Procedural Drama.  You can certainly spot quite a few characters that not only are not “New Yorkers”, but may have never been to New York…  However, whats interesting, is that this show is airing on NBC.  This show feels like it should be on european television somewhere, or maybe SPIKETV.  There is something missing from the conventional procedural drama.  The show takes time to be a little cinematic in some places, almost like an old episode of THE HIGHLANDER.

Anyway, in terms of what to watch on Wednesday night,  I certainly wouldn’t try to be home for it.  I won’t set my dvr to record it.  I certainly don’t need a new show with a “tough female cop”.  But if I’m home, and its on, then i’ll definitely watch in some wonderment.

Hello everyone. I’ve decided to start this blog solely for the opportunity to rant about television as often as I can muster the energy to type. As part of the tv generation, I’ve been watching shows as long as I can remember. From Perry Mason and Gunsmoke, to now Breaking Bad and Luther. Those shows were/are gems, but there sure is a lot of crap out there. Now sure, I’m just as guilty as the rest of us of watching shows that I knew would lower my IQ.

I’ll watch the first 2 episodes of new shows, then I’ll write about it. If I like it, I’ll keep watching and tell you about it. If not, I may only reference it’s crappiness in other posts.

So please start reading, I’ll start writing.